Am I A God?

Zhao Yao reached out to block Roly Poly’s phone.

“Look at the state they’re in. It’s not nice to take their photos now,” he told the fat cat.

He then turned to Dust Ball.

“We’ll keep them in the belly. C’mon, open up.”

The authorities were bound to be butthurt about the loss of the cats. If they found out that Zhao Yao took them, there would be hell to pay.

The extradimensional belly was the best place to keep them from prying eyes.

Dust Ball, however, did not seem pleased with this arrangement.

“More cats?” she glared at Zhao Yao, “Don’t you think the house is overcrowded now? Why are you bringing more of these randos home? I will not let you use my belly for cat hoarding.”

Zhao Yao did not bother explaining. He reached into his back pocket and produced a bag of catmint, which he promptly threw in Dust Ball’s face.

“Open up,” he repeated.

“You…!” she choked, at a momentary loss for words, “I’m trying to help you, Zhao Yao! You can’t just keep collecting cats. Which sane woman will be willing to date a cat hoarder? Your life will be in shambles.”

The temptation of the catmint, however, proved too strong. Again.

Unhappily, Dust Ball opened her mouth and unlocked the extradimensional belly. Then, Zhao Yao created an illusion that lured the confused ragdolls to enter it.

*

News of the battle in Jiangmen City gradually spread through the country.

A young man was musing over the incident in the Huadu District of Guangzhou. He was comfortably seated in an office in one of the city’s highest skyscrapers. He slowly opened his eyes, which were behind a pair of gold-rimmed glasses.

“I would never have thought that an apostle of that caliber would exist in Jiangmen City. What a miscalculation,” he said, scratching his chin thoughtfully.

The other man in the room smiled. He was lounging on a couch, his dyed white hair catching the light streaming in from the windows.

“Has your plan failed, God of Death? I heard Yue Shan graced that city with his presence. He defeated you?”

“No, not him,” God of Death responded, shaking his head, “I had the good luck to bump into an unexpectedly extraordinary opponent. He’s the authorities’ problem now.”

“Unexpectedly extraordinary?” the white-haired man echoed thoughtfully, “Is he more powerful than me?”

“There’s no way of telling,” God of Death replied honestly, “You never know how dangerous an apostle truly is until you go up against him one-on-one. But I’ve seen enough to know he is too powerful to offend, at least for now.”

He paused for a moment, “This is just the beginning, my friend. Once we strike more alliances and expand our territory, no one will be able to stand in our way. I have my sights set on the Southwest. Jiangmen City can wait.”

The two young men were the leaders of Fang, the largest rogue apostle clan in the district.

As vice president, God of Death had been amplifying the clan’s reach by claiming parasitic hosts in every neighborhood and corner in Huadu. With the proliferation of hosts, the district was Fang’s.

However, his steady agglomeration of hosts also made him a bigger threat in the president’s eyes.

Snow flipped his head of white hair, then looked at God of Death, brows furrowed.

“This fellow…I don’t trust him,” he frowned, “This man I see right now might not even be him. Even if I kill him right here, right now, there’s a 50% chance it’s just another host. I can only wait for the day I find his supercat.”

God of Death glanced at Snow.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, “Do you have any objections regarding our Southwest plan? You don’t have to worry about Jiangmen, you know. That was just to test the waters. Succeeding would be a bonus. Failing wouldn’t put a dent in what we have.”

Snow shot his vice-president a quick smile.

“With you at the wheel, I have nothing to worry about,” he said, shifting on the couch,” I am, however, interested in this unexpectedly extraordinary apostle you mentioned.”

“I’m sure you’ll meet him one day. Once we have enough allies by our side, we’ll meet him and we’ll fight him,” God of Death stated.

He rested his head against the leather seat, staring out the full-length window.

“After all the powers in the world, mine grows the strongest with time. Zhao Yao, it’ll be my turn to surprise you the next time we meet,” he brooded.

“Is that so?” Snow asked, disrupting his thoughts.

God of Death turned to look at him.

“Snow is starting to get bossy, hasn’t he? Is it time to get a new president again? That would not be ideal, of course. We’ve already had too many replacements,” he pondered.

*

Ares’ eyes snapped open.

He scrambled onto his legs, looking around wildly.

“What’s happened?” he started rambling, “Why do I feel like I’ve gone on a trip when I was asleep? And then I fell asleep again? Did I really leave, or was it just a dream?”

Zhao Yao had robbed the poor cat of his five senses when he poured him back into the real world. This knocked Ares out instantly. Sensory deprivation made his little adventure feel like a whacky dream.

The confused cat scanned the room. Loud snores emitted from a heap of cupboard boxes. There was no doubt that all his friends were squished in them, fast asleep.

At least all except for one.

Gaia was lying on his front, handphone in paw, staring dumbly at him.

Ares looked from Gaia to the cats, then back to Gaia again, wondering if it was all really a dream.

His thoughts came to a screeching halt when his brain registered what Gaia was likely doing.

“What are you up to?” he demanded, narrowing his eyes at the guilty Garfield cat.

He bounded forward and grabbed the handphone.

“How many times have I told you that we watch our shows together? We have to conserve energy! What are you watching?”

Gaia retreated into himself like a frightened tortoise.

“I was watching Naruto,” he admitted quietly.

The glare Ares shot him was cold, rigid, and terrifying.

“Aren’t we supposed to be watching that together? Are you trying to spoil the show again?!” he yelled.

“No, no! Of course not! I’ve not gotten very far from where we were. I stopped when Sasuke betrayed them and fled,” Gaia replied earnestly.

“Did you just say Sasuke – ?”

Ares was too furious to complete his sentence. He slapped a paw on Gaia, knocking him off his feet. The spoiler cat flew through the air before hitting a wall, where he slid down on the floor like mud.

“How?” Ares looked down at his paw in alarm, “When have I ever had so much strength?”

His eyes grew wide.

“Wait a minute, I remember now! I learnt a new move in my dreams!” he declared triumphantly.

“What’s happening, boss?” Fujin asked sleepily, raising his head.

The commotion had woken all three cats from their slumber.

“Shh,” Ares held up one paw to shush the cats.

He kept his eyes shut tightly, brows furrowed as he tried to recall what happened in his dreams.

“I remember now! I learnt a new skill…”

“Iron Palm Wave!” he exclaimed.

As he spoke, he balled up his paw, creating a force field around him. Next, he used the paw to throw a punch, which produced a crack that sounds like a whip of lightning. A blast of wind spun forward at high speed, tearing straight for the cardboard boxes.

The cats leaped out of the way as the blast hit the wall behind them, where it cast an imprint the shape of a massive paw.

Ares might have been unconscious during the battle against Nessie, but he remembered well the new skills Zhao Yao inevitably taught him.

“Iron Palm Wave! I remember everything now! That’s the right way to use the force fields,” he concluded excitedly, “I can’t believe I dreamt of all that! I must be a genius.”

He then turned to face the cats.

“Oh, by the way, Sasuke betrayed the team and fled,” he said casually.

“No!” the cats cried in unison.

Ares let out an evil chuckle when he spoiled the show for his friends. He had forgotten that he was in their shoes a mere moment ago.

“Alright, alright, stop whining. Now that we’re all here, let’s watch Naruto,” he suggested.

And so, the handphone was switched on.

Dried food was poured into the dish. Canned food was put into the bowl. The emptied cans were stacked together as a makeshift phone console.

Four pairs of shimmering eyes were glued to the screen in anticipation.

“It’s starting!” Fujin exclaimed, inching a little closer to the phone, “Boss, do you think Ninjitsu really exists?”

“Of course not,” Ares replied airily, “Remember this, Fujin. Naruto and Attack on Titans are all make-believe. They’re fake. Only shows like Ultraman and Ironman are real.”

The five cats had been holed up in their little nest for a while. Their only form of entertainment was all kinds of movies, television dramas, and animations. After watching a ton of them, they had come to their own conclusion on what was real and what was not.

Fujin nodded sagely, “Boss knows best.”

“That goes without saying. You’ll learn a lot when you stick with me,” Ares said proudly.

“Stop talking, guys! It’s about to start!” Lucifer protested, nearly stomping on the ground to get his point across.

Naruto was popular for a reason. The fight scenes, plot development, and plot twists were captivating. Within minutes, the four cats were on the edge of their seats, their minds occupied with nothing but the anime.

This was why they did not notice when a flash of white pierced through the air, creating a portal through which three furry beings appeared. They fell right into the cardboard boxes with loud thuds.

The sudden noise alarmed the cats. Each of them jumped into the air, let out a loud meow, then darted into various corners of the room.

“Everyone, stay calm!” Ares yelled between comforting licks of his fur, “One of us should take a look at what those things are.”

The three cats shook their heads vehemently.

“Useless, all of you!” Ares scolded.

As their leader, he had no choice but to approach the mysterious figures.

“I’m not afraid!” he announced, “I’ve mastered my Iron Palm Wave. No matter what they are, I’ll flatten them into Krabby patties!”

Ares gulped, then nudged his paw to activate the force field. It protected him from head to toe, as if he was engulfed by an invisible bubble. His feet were levitating an inch off the ground.

As he got closer to the heap of fur, one of the creatures swished its tail, then attempted to get up.

In response, Ares pushed a paw forward, sending another whirlwind smack into the ragdoll. He flew across the room, hit a wall, then slid down, landing on Gaia.

“Oh no,” Gaia sighed before passing out.

He had barely regained consciousness when the ragdoll fell onto him, knocking him out once more.

At this point, the other two ragdoll cats were coming to as well. They gingerly got onto their feet, exposing their faces to the rest of the cats for the first time.

When Ares caught sight of them, he could feel his heart skip a beat.