Am I A God?

The showdown between Zhao Yao and the four fugitives caused quite the commotion.

Ah Wei and Xiao Shi Yu’s eyes were glued to what went down on the battlefield.

Everyone else in the cat cafe did the same as well. They stood on their tiptoes, trying to catch a better view of what was happening. Thankfully, the vapor and gushing water made it impossible for them to make out that the cafe’s owner was in the middle of it all.

Of course, Matcha and the gang of supercats had also noticed the uproar outside.

They crowded around the glass window, meowing and yowling over each other.

“We have enemies at our doorstep! Zhao Yao is fighting them now!” Matcha exclaimed, “We’ve got to join him on the battlefield!”

“He is so cool!” Roly Poly called out, brimming with excitement as Zhao Yao threw another epic punch at the opponent.

“Come on, guys, let’s go! Together, we can destroy the enemies,” Dust Ball chimed in, a steely look in her eyes.

“Let’s go now! What are you waiting for?” Rice Cake burst out.

She was skipping around, bursting with energy. She could not wait to run straight into the fight.

“Yes, yes, I know,” Matcha responded, “But we can’t just jump straight in like idiots. We have to wait for the right time.”

“How about now?” Rice Cake asked impatiently.

“Okay! All troops deployed!” Matcha yelled in earnest.

“Dude, why aren’t you moving?”

“Let’s smash them!”

“You keep talking, but you still aren’t moving!”

“CAN’T YOU JUST GIVE ME A MINUTE?!” Matcha burst out.

He was so furious that he started clawing at the cat nearest to him, resulting in a storm of fur to descend over everyone.

“Can’t you see that I’m waiting for the right opportunity?!” he huffed, breathing heavily.

Roly Poly collapsed onto the floor in a state of confusion. Tufts of hair had been grazed from his body and were now floating in the air.

He turned to Matcha with a look of dejection, “What have I done to deserve this?”

Elizabeth shot them a dirty look. So far, they had been all talk, no action.

At that moment, a water jet shot out of a manhole cover into view. It darted straight for the cafe.

Nessie.

“Five seconds until the enemy reaches the battlefield! Get ready!”

“Pfft, that’s the enemy? He’s tiny,” Matcha scoffed.

The jet of water was barely the width of a human thumb.

“C’mon, guys! We should attack him when he’s weak!” Matcha rallied, ready to pounce.

As the cats banded together to strike, there was a loud explosion. A surge of water erupted from the drain that lined the street outside the cafe. It merged with the water jet, which started to expand in size rapidly. In no time at all, it grew into a waterspout the size of a truck.

This turn of events caused the supercats to stop in their tracks and tumble over each other.

“We’ll not waste our energy on the tank!” Matcha commanded, “Let’s attack the fragile ones hiding behind. Roly Poly, cover me, George Matcha the Saviour. Everyone else, follow me!”

The cats meowed in response. They rushed out the cafe, where Roly Poly activated his power of invisibility to hide everyone from view. The water dragon rushed charged right past them, oblivious to their presence.

Matcha, Rice Cake, Roly Poly, and Dust Ball headed straight for Barbie, who was already unconscious on the ground.

They bit and scratched her vehemently.

“Attack the blonde enemy! We cannot let her deal any more damage to us or Zhao Yao!” Matcha ordered.

Roly Poly took this instruction very seriously. He burrowed beneath Barbie’s shirt and used his teeth to tear off her bra. When he emerged, he announced victoriously, “I have destroyed her armor! Her breastplate is no more!”

“I’ll finish her!” Rice Cake volunteered, flashing her claws.

She pushed them onto Barbie’s chest and unleashed her power, which channeled a series of vibrations to her victim.

“Her defensive skills are too powerful!” Rice Cake announced in surprise, “I can’t reach her organs.”

Unknown to the tiny cat, she was unable to release the full devastation of her powers when she was not in excruciating pain.

Matcha was busy sniffing her pockets. “Where’s her purse? I need her purse!”

Elizabeth observed the four cats from a distance with narrowed eyes. She raised her paw to her face, “Idiots.”

Regardless, she cast an illusion around her friends to ensure that no one could see what they were up to.

Ah Wei let out a bellow of fury when he saw Nessie dart into the cafe. He activated the Blood of Magmar before storming after him, a trail of smoke and heat radiating off his body.

He looked like he meant business, but it only took one sweep of the dragon’s tail for him to be sent flying out of the cafe.

The customers let out frightened screams as they ran out of the store, away from the water monster. The remaining cats made off into various corners of the cafe, their tails hung low between their back legs.

Nessie knew that beating Zhao Yao was impossible. His new plan was to grab the supercats and run.

After he flung Ah Wei outside, he turned back to face the cafe and found it completely deserted.

“What the..?”

While Roly Poly may be gone, Baiquan was still staying guard here. He had activated his invisibility skill to conceal everyone left in the cafe while Ah Wei was distracted. He stood in front of the cats and the remaining customers, his arms outstretched. He urged them to move backward, away from Nessie.

His power might not be able to last long but, coupled with Ah Wei’s momentary distraction, it was enough to buy them time.

When Zhao Yao noticed that Nessie had snuck into his cafe, he pushed himself off the ground, producing a field of energy that rocketed him there in an instant.

He was already marching through the entrance when Nessie noticed that the cats and customers had all disappeared.

With a punch, Zhao Yao sent a formulated energy blast his way, blowing him up yet again.

“Goddammit! This guy is fast!”

Nessie knew that he had lost his one chance of making off with the cats. He quickly regrouped dispersed water drops, then split them into four smaller waterspouts, each heading in its own direction.

Only one out of the four was Nessie. The rest was a diversion.

Zhao Yao projected one bolt of energy after another, each exploding a waterspout. Not a single one held the real Nessie.

“Sh*t!” he spun around, his eyes following the last one.

It was heading straight for the cat’s toilet.

“I’ve got to stop him before he escapes through the pipes there.”

Shortly after the waterspout tunneled into the toilet, it knocked the nearest water pipe in half, creating a golden shower of waste.

The explosion alarmed Mango, who had been minding his own business, pooping in one of the self-cleaning automatic litter boxes.

The first bit of poo that he had squeezed out went right back in out of shock. His relaxed mood was replaced with fear and anxiety. It eventually morphed into anger when he realized that his painstaking efforts to poop had gone to waste.

Mango glared at the cause of the commotion, his face bloated into an expression of indignity and fury.

This was when Zhao Yao had barged into the toilet, slamming the door open. He was met with the horrific sight of the blown up water pipe and poop smeared all over the floors and ceiling.

Mango leaped onto the highest litter box. He turned to Zhao Yao and started meowing at him angrily.

On the floor, a middle-aged man was kneeling, his hands clutching his tummy. He extended a hand to Zhao Yao, sweat dripping down his pale face.

“I…I have hemorrhoids.”

Zhao Yao was stunned into immobility. He could watch as the man fell to the ground, unconscious. Blood was pooling from the lower half of his body.

Later, when the paramedics showed up at the cafe, they found Nessie lying in a bloody mess of poop and urine. He had completely lost his memory and his pupils had turned a disturbing white.

When Zhao Yao saw him collapse, he backed away from the toilet immediately. He sprinted out of the cafe, where the churning of his stomach reached a bearable level.

“That was close,” he said, wiping the sweat from his forehead, “That could’ve been it. Elizabeth’s illusions may not work on him, but thankfully Mango’s did.”

In that moment, Zhao Yao understood that Elizabeth could only affect the five senses if she had access to the target’s brain. Mango’s abilities, however, operated on a whole new level.

He peered through the glass window of the cafe, where his customers were also clutching their tummies, their faces contorted with pain.

“Get out! If you don’t want to die, get out now!” he shouted.

With Ah Wei and Baiquan’s help, the customers were led out of the cafe and into the relative safety of the street.

Zhao Yao heaved a sigh of relief. He could not imagine how horrifically catastrophic it would be if so many people were to poop in the cafe at the same time.

On the other end of the street, a purse was dangling from the corner of Matcha’s mouth. A bra was in Roly Poly’s. All four cats were doing a victory dance on Barbie’s motionless body.

“Victory! We have beaten this woman into unconsciousness!”

“We’re so cool!”

Their celebration was interrupted by Matcha, who pointed at Sun Meng’s retreating figure.

“Guys, there’s one more trying to escape! We’ve got to go after her!” he yelled.